I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize