we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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