AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
