You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i now understand why vodka
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
