i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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