and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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