Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize