We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
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