I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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