well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
