She said her name was "party"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
