Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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