so let's talk penis.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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