I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
