She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
