She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
