I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
