Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dignity is for republicans.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
