I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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