"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize