my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he was CRYING into my vagina
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
