You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
