help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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