I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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