The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
