how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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