Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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