what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
