I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize