I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
