the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
