so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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