i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
