Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
