I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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