if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
