Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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