I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
