Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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