Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
