Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
where are my eyebrows?
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