Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My Sexting was not on an AP level
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
