Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
