U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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