Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
