Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
