I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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