I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize