omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
