All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize