Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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