I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
