do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
