i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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