btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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