Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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