My boss' voice literally gives me gas
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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