Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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