this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
