And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
