yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
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someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
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i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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