I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
