She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
