You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
