apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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