I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
