Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he fucked my hip out of place.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
